


Cup of Tea

by Wishmaker



Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: M/M, Post-Kingdom Hearts II
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-02-04
Updated: 2015-02-04
Packaged: 2018-03-10 11:48:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,103
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3289271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wishmaker/pseuds/Wishmaker
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Riku was a beautiful, tea-drinking disaster and Sora spent nights in his kitchen because that was the only time they could talk. The Storm, the years of separation and the unspoken feelings are creating a rift between them, leaving Sora to wonder if they can ever go back the way they were before. He's determined to fix things, however.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Cup of Tea

**Author's Note:**

> Heyo!  
> Haven't been on ao3 before but since I just got back into Kingdom Hearts I thought it'd be a good time as any to post something here. :) Spent a good two weeks writing this so if you'd like to read more KH fanfics of mine, I'd really appreciate some signs of life, comments are always my favourite thing in the world but kudos and bookmarks are awesome as well!
> 
> Hope you'll like this!

When Sora entered the small house, Riku was sitting on a patchy beanbag chair in the corner, propped against the wall as far from the windows as was possible. A book rested on his slim, crossed legs, probably another of those college-level psychology studies he seemed to be ever so fond of. Sora couldn’t help but sigh internally, for Riku was too book-smart for his own wellbeing. 

_Would he actually die if he stepped outside for once_ , Sora wondered with slight scorn. Riku wore his usual yellow attire, that was starting to look normal on him again, and his silver hair fell down his back, over his shoulders and hid his eyes, the once-brilliant aqua eyes that were only ever cloudy and afraid now. Maybe Sora should’ve been happy he didn’t see them that often anymore, but he wasn’t.

”Fancy seeing you here,” Riku acknowledged without moving his eyes from the book, turning the page even though he probably hadn’t even read the previous one. It wasn’t anything new that Sora would pop into the small house that was currently Riku’s alone – his parents hadn’t been seen since the Storm – but Riku still didn’t seem like he had been expecting company. Once upon a time, Riku had been arrogant and witty. Nowadays, all Riku ever was was tired, as if he didn’t want to bother with life altogether.

”Fancy seeing you _awake_ ,” Sora retorted, stepping inside properly and letting the door close after himself, crossing the room to Riku’s private book corner. Ever since their return to Destiny Islands, Riku had seemingly done pretty much nothing but sleep. Sora had to admit that he was worried, on top of which he also missed his best friend. It was currently eight in the evening and the sun was grazing the island with its last breath, yet Sora was honestly surprised by Riku being rather awake.

”I guess so…” Riku drawled, turning the page again with a lick of his finger. He opened his mouth as if to explain himself but stayed silent, putting the book away, carefully sliding his bookmark in place and scrambling up as gracefully as a baby that had never stood up before. “I’m making tea,” he informed Sora much more quietly and softly than he usually did, “Do you want some?”

Sora blinked; in the years he had known Riku, he had never been a fan of warm beverages. Quite the opposite: Riku seemed to only drink things that were either freezing or that had been frozen before. And even if the older teen were to drink something warm, Sora would go for a cappuccino or a scorching hot and seething strong espresso. Definitely not tea, calm and soothing and not fierce, just plain normal black tea.

Sora himself was a hot chocolate person, so he shook his head a no, following Riku into the small space he considered a kitchen. The pans and kettles were in a perfect order and Riku had obviously gone through a lot of trouble to keep the room looking like his mother had kept it. It had been well over a year since the Storm, so Sora could actually see Riku’s little touches all over it; a collection of different varieties of tea in the cupboard, a used glass on the corner of the table, a paper on the door of the fridge from their school reminding him to turn in an English assignment in August. It was the beginning of _July_ , for one. For two, it was _summer vacation_. This was one of the times when Riku was too book-smart for his own good. Normal people, like Sora and Kairi and Tidus, had already forgotten all about school, and they were pretty happy that way. And for three, Riku hadn’t even returned to school after they returned to the Islands. No one expected him to, either. He had come home to find his whole life a total wreck, after all. Sometimes, no matter how selfish it was, Sora just wished he could have Riku _back_.

Riku busied himself with his choices of tea even though he probably knew what he wanted already, and the kettle bubble-bubble-bubbled happily, so Sora busied himself with studying the room. Despite all the time he spent in Riku’s house ( _he had to because Riku wouldn’t come out and Riku was sleeping and sleeping and sleeping how was that normal?_ ), something still seemed odd to him about it. Deep blue eyes scanned the kitchen, scanned the light yellow walls and the ceiling and the floor. The window didn’t have any curtains; Sora supposed that was because of how much Riku’s mother had… loved the sun. Riku had, too. Nowadays Sora wouldn’t really bet on it, what with all the time the other spent inside.

Riku sat down on a chair on the other side of the table; it wasn’t his usual place but Sora was standing in his way so he probably had no other choice. He had a big mug that read _MONDAY_ with all capital, black letters. Sora considered asking him if he knew that it was Thursday, but he didn’t bother to, sitting down instead.

 “So what’s with the sudden attraction to tea?”

 “I’ve been doing a lot of things,” Riku offered, looking out the window now that the sun was climbing underneath the horizon. “Lately.”

 Like sleeping, for instance. Sora used to visit him in the afternoon at first, but he was always asleep so he had been getting there later and later. Nowadays he got there around nine or ten and left before eleven because that was when his mother wanted him back. Ever since the Storm, anyway.

 The conversation didn’t carry on by itself and Sora suddenly felt too drained to help it and Riku was so fixated on the tea that was probably still burning hot, which didn’t stop him from drinking it. Sora was certain that after he had finished it, he would have to say something.

 And say something he did.

 “I’ll… make some more.”

 Within the next two hours, Sora counted five more cups of tea in Riku’s pale hands. The whole tea ordeal was rather amusing, but Sora was too happy to see Riku awake and functioning to bring it up. “How have you been?” he asked instead, smiling gleefully and resting one of his elbows on the table and looking at his best friend. It had indeed been a while, nearly two weeks, since the last time they had had an actual conversation.

 Riku shrugged, looking away from MONDAY for a fleeting moment before returning to his task of saving the world, one cup of tea at a time. “Pretty normal… Went on a run yesterday.” Riku did a lot of running. They didn’t compete on that much anymore because Riku was that much faster. It wasn’t a secret that Riku was a perfectionist all the way to his very core. He wouldn’t do anything if he couldn’t eventually master it.

 Sora nodded to show that he had been listening. Too bad he had spent the day before with Kairi, since it seems that he had missed out on a chance to spend time with Riku outside of his four little walls. “Hey, you should come with me and Kairi to the beach tomorrow!” he exclaimed after getting the initial idea. That way they could catch up better, and Riku probably missed Kairi as well… He smiled to Riku, a happy Sora-smile not many people could resist.

 Riku wasn’t looking at him, however. Instead he murmured against the rim of his mug, “I don’t think I can come, Sora.” The way he said Sora’s name sounded off; it sounded like a prayer and a swear word, both at the same time. Sora didn’t quite know what to make out of that. “I’m really tired.”

 “Tired? But you’ve been doing nothing but sleep…!” Sora complained, fixing his posture without even realizing, getting to a more hostile stance as he prepared for yet another argument.

 “And why do you think that is?” Riku hissed, setting poor little Monday on the table with a slam, droplets of scorching hot tea flying in every direction. Sora was almost excepting to see the amber eyes that haunted his nightmares as Riku stood up as if he had been burned (he probably had, actually) and blinked at the scene in front of himself. “I’m… sorry,” he then offered, swallowing his pride in a rare display of apology. “It’s just… I would like to come, believe me.” Aquamarine eyes were pleading for the table to explode as he moved Monday to the sink, apparently thinking that six cups was quite enough for today. He hadn’t even finished the last one but Sora supposed he wasn’t functioning rationally right now. “I don’t like sleeping all day either, believe me.”

 Sora nodded, understanding. It wasn’t Riku’s fault. But he was so worried; was it really normal for a teenager to sleep 20 hours a day, every day? He knew he didn’t; he slept a lot during the summer but in his mind, a lot meant around ten hours.

 He made a mental note to ask his other friends the following day.

 Friday was a movie night for their small group of friends on Destiny Islands. Every week, they gathered to someone’s house to watch a movie or two. This week, it was Kairi’s turn to act as a hostess, and Sora was mentally pleading for her to not pick some chick flick only Selphie and herself could enjoy.

 Calm and collected Riku was in his mind the whole day, however. Calm and collected Riku hissing at him, spilling tea on his kitchen table and murmuring quiet apologies after the fact. It was like him, it wasn’t calm or collected. And calm and collected Riku definitely didn’t sleep 20 hours a day. Or drink six cups of tea, for that matter.

 He managed to smile to Tidus, Selphie and Wakka when he met up with them on his way to Kairi’s. They seemed happy as ever, even though Sora wasn’t as close with them as he had been before the Storm. They probably felt more or less guilty about forgetting him before. It wasn’t their fault, so Sora had forgiven them even before the initial apologies. Despite this, it was difficult for him to set back to the normal friendly banter and games they had played before; he, Kairi and Riku had grown so much during the years they had been away, while the Islands had stayed the same.

 “How are you guys?” he asked as a means of conversation.

Tidus grinned smugly, like he did about almost anything really, “Never better!”

Selphie giggled, giving him a friendly shove and then murmuring a happy “everything is well”.

Wakka nodded, joining in Tidus’ grinning. “Can’t complain, yeah.”

 “And how are you, Sora?” Selphie questioned, smiling in a friendly way that made Sora feel bad about something he couldn’t even understand.

“I’m cool!” he announced, then rubbing the back of his head. “Concerned about Kairi’s choice of a movie though…” _And Riku, I’m concerned about Riku._ A voice in his head was very keen on not letting him enjoy himself as long as he was leaving his other friend alone.

“Have you heard anything about Riku?” Sora blurted out just as they were reaching Kairi’s house, effectively stopping his friends in their respective tracks, nearly covering his face with his hand from sheer awkwardness. He didn’t, however; that would’ve made things even more awkward.

“Riku? No, I’m sorry…”

“Nope.”  
  
Wakka scratched his neck, “Yeah, I seem ‘im time to time. Why do ya wanna know?”

 Sora blinked at him, surprised. “When? Where? I’m… worried about him, that’s all.”

 “At ‘ight,” Wakka confessed, “I go around quite a bit. And I see him around the island som’imes.”

 “At night?” Sora repeated, “Really?” He started walking again, leading the group to Kairi’s door because he didn’t want to continue the conversation any longer, despite having started it earlier. So Riku went out at night? He wasn’t sure if he was happy (Riku wasn’t sleeping 20 hours a day so he was probably fine) or upset (Riku hadn’t told him that he was going out and around at night). In a strange way, he felt almost… jealous.

Kairi had actually, despite all odds, picked a movie Sora could have enjoyed. If he could have concentrated on it in the slightest, he would’ve been happy with the comical, action-packed masterpiece. As it was, his mind had been left behind at Riku’s, wondering whether he was asleep again or if he had left outside, wandering about mindlessly and looking to lose himself in the darkness like he was already used to doing.

 Sora could see Kairi taking glances at him. Long, worried glances that screamed _are you alright_? Kairi was too considerate to ask, however, what with the three other friends huddled together on the small sofa in her house. Instead, they discussed the movie in hushed whispers, eating popcorn and doing the same things they always had. It was only after Tidus, Selphie and Wakka left their separate ways that Kairi confronted Sora about his worries.

“You know you can tell me anything, Sora,” she murmured in that kind, friendly tone of hers. She was ever so understanding and Sora felt utterly _blessed_ that he had her as a friend. Kairi, like Riku, had grown so much from Sora’s childhood memories. It wasn’t like it was a bad thing, of course – she was beautiful – but sometimes (most times) he found himself secretly wishing they could go back to before and never leave Destiny Islands. He had a burning tug in his heart, telling him both of his friends would have been much happier that way. Himself, as well.

 But Riku, Riku had wanted so bad to leave. Some days, Sora was convinced he’d leave them behind. And other days he

 “It’s…” Sora started, “I don’t know what to tell you, Kairi. _I’m_ not even sure what’s wrong.” He sighed, shaking his head and asking if they could step outside for a bit; to clear his head. It wasn’t like her parents minded anyway, so Kairi agreed with a nod.

 Destiny Islands were beautiful bathed in moonlight. Sora had always known this as a fact, but it didn’t stop him from being on his toes in the darkness. The Heartless gnawed at the edges of his safety whenever it wasn’t bright and sunny. It was stupid, of course; the worlds had been saved and the Heartless were _gone_ , but still… he was worried.

 “There are only two things in this world that could bother you this much,” Kairi started, smiling a bit when Sora tilted his head to listen to her. “Family or friends. The Heartless always bother you, I know that, but… you seem shaken. Did you hear something from Goofy or Donald? The King?”

 “No…”

 “Then is it about your family?”

“No…”

 “And it’s not me?”

“Nuh…” he could feel himself giving up, listening to the word as he mumbled it. She knew. She always knew. “I guess you knew already?”  
  
“I did,” Kairi agreed with a giggle, though she turned serious within a heartbeat. “But why are you that upset with him? Did he do something?” Kairi watched his eyes to see his reaction.  
  
“It’s not like that,” Sora clarified, before she had the chance to take things the wrong way. “He didn’t do anything, I’m just worried about him. He’s not…” He trailed off, looking for the right way to put it. Riku was… Riku was different, they were all different but Riku was different in a bad way, unlike Sora or Kairi. No, not in a bad way, just…  
  
“Not like before?”  
  
They drifted near the sea, Sora kicking the sand with his shoes with every third step. “I suppose,” he amended, “it’s to be expected; we all changed. But—“ he looked at Kairi and he knew he probably seemed desperate but that was only because he _was_ desperate. “I want him back.”

 Kairi gave him a smile that was probably meant as one of encouragement, but only managed to push Sora deeper in his pit of self-pity. “I know,” she offered simply. “Have you tried talking to him about this?”

Sora shrugged a bit, as if he wasn’t quite sure if he had. “He’s always sleeping.”

 “I know. I think you should try anyway. I’d like to… reconcile with him, too.”

 And there came what Sora always almost forgot, when he let himself get too broody about the older male; Kairi was his friend as well. To be completely honest, he didn’t think Riku and Kairi were quite as close as Sora was with both of them, but they were friends regardless.

 And now that he thought about it… Riku and Kairi really had fallen out after they returned. They weren’t hostile, of course not. There was this air about them, Sora couldn’t really explain it, but they were very tense in each other’s company. Maybe it was part of the reason why Riku didn’t spend that much time with them anymore.

 “What happened between you two?” Sora asked carefully, fearing that he would somehow upset her by asking.

 Kairi sighed, probably having known Sora would want to know after she brought it up. “…I think you should probably ask Riku about that,” she suggested after giving it a thought. “He didn’t do anything wrong or anything, I just think it’s his story to tell and not mine.”

Sora frowned; he wasn’t big on people keeping secrets like this from him. Especially his best friends… but Kairi was clearly doing this out of respect for Riku, and Sora had to respect that.

 “Enough brooding over Riku!” Sora announced, “Do you want to go for a swim?”

Kairi giggled, “It’s almost midnight, Sora. And in our clothes? Eww.”  
  
“It’s not like it’s the first time,” Sora murmured smugly, running into the water and splashing it in every direction, gaining a yelp from Kairi. He knew she couldn’t resist it, though. Kairi loved swimming.

And somewhere between swimming in the pitch black ocean and quietly making it back to Kairi’s house for a sleepover, Sora promised himself he would find Riku in the darkness and talk to him.

 Like before.

He didn’t go to Riku’s house at 8 PM on Saturday. No, instead he slept in with Kairi, then went home to beg to be allowed to sleep over at Riku’s.

 “With Riku?” his mother asked as she made dinner, the stove comfortably cooking rice and ground meat for them. He rolled his eyes; of course he was going to a sleepover at Riku’s house _with Riku_. Then again, her surprise had been expected. It had been an eternity or maybe even two since the last time he actually spent time with Riku. It was a pity; Sora enjoyed Riku’s company on some strange spiritual level he had never honestly experienced with anyone else. They didn’t even need to be doing anything for slightly ADHD Sora to calm himself down and lapse into a comfortable companionship. Sora missed that.

 “Yeah, with Riku, who else?” Sora smiled, “It’s been way too long, don’t you think?”

His mother smiled as she gave the plan her blessing, that angelic mother-smile that could only be done when you sincerely loved someone more than anything. Sora could see her and his father’s break-up on her face, could see them storm and the endless worrying, could see the weight of the world he had too once carried, along with his friends.

 She was beautiful regardless.

 Sora waited, rather patiently considering his nature. He waited for the sun to set, for it to be quite dark enough that he could hope that Riku was convinced he wasn’t coming, not today. Maybe then Riku would head outside.

 And Sora left to go outside as well. He made his way through the small island, to the even smaller island with the Paopu tree. It wasn’t anything he could really explain, but it was where the whole mess had started. Maybe going there would solve things. Maybe Riku felt the same way. Maybe it was where he spent lonely nights; Sora was pretty sure Riku had liked the place; once upon an eternity.

 As it turned out, Riku hadn’t actually shared his train of thought. The small island was completely isolated, lonely and broody and very much Riku, except without the young man himself. Sora found himself chuckling quietly at the idea of telling Riku that he was like a stupid island.

 Sora took a Paopu fruit from the tree, looking at it with a frown. Albeit joking, Riku had offered him to share one years ago. If Sora had accepted it back then, could they have avoided Riku getting locked up behind the door with King Mickey and hordes of Heartless? Could they have avoided being separated so many times, Riku running away from him time after time?

 “I thought I sensed someone here,” Riku’s voice sounded from behind him suddenly, making Sora jump and drop the fruit as he whirled around.

 “Don’t do that…!” Sora cried, the neclegted fruit rolling into the water while he took a few angry steps in Riku’s direction.

Riku chuckled, and Sora finally realized he was actually standing there, a black hoodie thrown over his normal clothes, hands crossed across his chest, while he did no effort to conceal his amusement as he watched Sora. “What are you doing here?” He tugged his hair away from his face in favour of making eye contact. The moon lit his eyes in a way not many things did anymore.

“I’m…” Sora started, looking for the words, “I was looking for you. I thought that maybe you’d come here, since…”  
  
“And why did you wish to fi—?“

Sora cut him off, accusations clear in his tone without him even meaning to sound that way. “What did you mean, you thought you sensed someone here?”

 Riku’s eye twitched and he shook his head ever so slightly, enough for his hair to fall back in place.

 “We’re Keyblade wielders, Sora. Of course we sense things.”

“Yeah, things like Heartless and other monsters,” Sora cried, annoyed that Riku acted like he was dumb when he clearly wasn’t. “Not people!”

Riku huffed, “Why were you looking for me?”  
  
“We haven’t talked in a long time.”  
  
“We talk almost every day.” 

Riku must’ve known that wasn’t even true because it was such a stupid thing for him to say, honestly. He should have known by now that Sora too was stubborn and could hold his ground if needed.  
  
“No we don’t!” Sora disagreed, hurt and not willing to conceal it at this point. “I talk to you and you respond with a word or two! I want to talk to you about the important things, like why you are always sleeping!”

 “I guess you can see now,” Riku hissed in a low tone, closing in on him with another step so that he was practically towering over Sora, “That I am not. I wasn’t really keen on telling you but I’m _fucking nocturnal_. Don’t even think I haven’t tried to stay awake during the day but it’s fucking—“ he cuts himself off, he has made a habit out of that. Riku rarely ever swore so Sora could tell he was usually very serious or upset. Once he started swearing, however, it seemed like something he kept going back to, again and again. Sora could tell after all the video games they had played together.

 And Sora kind of understood why Riku hadn’t told him; Riku was too proud, too arrogant to show weakness. He couldn’t let anyone else know when he suffered, because he just couldn’t handle the pitying it lead to. Sora understood that much. Besides, Sora loved the sun and the daylight, while Riku had always been more of a night person.

 “I’m… sorry,” Sora murmured as a peace offering, “I don’t want to fight with you, honest. D’ya want to go to your place, drink six cups of tea again and talk about life? I’ll even listen to you talk about those books of yours if you want to…”

 Riku wasn’t meeting his eyes, Riku was lost in another world and out of Sora’s reach and Sora could try and take his hand but he wouldn’t make it and oh god Sora couldn’t handle losing him ever again not for anything…

 After a never-ending, inexplicably long moment, he chuckled half-heartedly. “Yeah, sure.”

 Riku’s house was somehow more comfortable after darkness had cloaked the island. It was almost weird; Sora didn’t feel safe anywhere in the dark, but here… here he felt like maybe things would be all right.

 As promised, Riku was currently downing his first cup of tea from trusty ol’ Monday, taking sips of the beverage whenever he wasn’t speaking.

 “How are you, Sora?” he asked before the mentioned could get started with all the questions he wanted to ask, and it caught him off guard, for Riku wasn’t exactly one for casual pleasantries like that. He was polite, yes, but it was as if he had sworn an oath in the name of a religion where you don’t ask people any unnecessary questions.

 Sora knew he had asked this as a means of distraction, but there must have been some genuine caring mixed in with it. Because of this, he was grateful.

 “I’m cool, thanks,” Sora murmured with a smile, “We had our movie night at Kairi’s last night and I slept over. It was pretty cool… but you should seriously come with us again next time! I mean, it’s not the same thing without both of my best friends…!”

 “Nocturnal,” Riku reminded him over Monday, his expression unreadable as he stared into his tea. “Besides, I don’t see any of them much anymore, I think we…” He sighed, abandoning the sentence he had already started, “It’s probably because of me.” After all the years he had known Riku, Sora could just tell when the silver-haired man was going into brooding mode. Admittedly, he had been doing it a lot more lately…

 “Don’t even start that, Riku,” he warned. “Besides, they all miss you! Of course they do, they are your friends..!” Sora turned his pleading, huge puppy eyes to Riku.

 Riku chuckled quietly, though this time it sounded more miserable than amused. Aqua eyes rose to meet his, and Sora could see the deep sadness in them. He was sure that Riku would rather die than actually admit just how upset he was nowadays, but that didn’t stop Sora from seeing it. “Yeah, I suppose… but it’s so difficult, you know, actually talking to other people after all that time? I got so used to being alone.”

Sora was unhappy he felt that way, so distanced from other human beings. He couldn’t blame Riku, though. At the same time, he was sorry to the point where he could feel his throat tighten – he hadn’t been there for Riku when the other had needed him. After all Riku had done for him…

 “Do you feel that way about me too?”

 The only thing to do now, Sora decided, was to make a change; he would be there for Riku, from here on. It was a decision that made him slightly afraid (what if he couldn’t follow through what if Riku didn’t want his help), but he wanted to do it regardless.

Blink, blink.

“What?”

 “Is it difficult talking to me, too?”

“You aren’t other people, Sora.” Riku let go of his safety blanket that was the shape of a teacup in favour of reaching across the table to bury his fingers into Sora’s messy hair and give it a friendly ruffle. He seemed to like doing that, for it had been his favoured way of showing his affection to Sora for years.

 Sora grinned, happily leaning into the touch. He wanted to be close to Riku again; close like they had been as children. Like brothers, they had been able to trust each other no matter what… what had changed?

 He gave a glance to Riku, judging whether or not it was the right time to ask this. The silver-haired god of tea drew his hand back, giving Sora a look he couldn’t quite understand, and then picking up his cup again.

 In a strange way, Riku’s tea drinking had made Sora upset at first. It was one of the first things that made this Riku feel like a different person from Sora’s best friend, a stranger in his eyes. But now that he thought of it again, tea actually did fit the personality of calm and collected Riku. And if drinking tea was what made him feel better, then Sora really preferred it over him losing himself in alcohol or sex… those were the other options, weren’t they?

 Sora hadn’t spent many times in his life actually contemplating the concept of Riku and sex (or drinking, for that matter) in the same train of thoughts. The times when he had thought of it were when he was with Goofy and Donald, and Riku was off… wherever he had been. He had wondered if Riku, lonely and desperate Riku, Riku who had probably thought he would never make it out of the darkness with his sanity still intact, had done things he would grow to regret later on in his life.

 Riku was good-looking (downright gorgeous) and witty (more so than anyone else Sora knew), so when Riku was out of his phase of angsting and not sleeping, Sora knew he would get a girlfriend soon enough. Back at school especially, people were bound to notice how stunning he was. He had grown as a person as well, and the time that had passed had served him well.

 It didn’t bother Sora in the slightest.

 He wasn’t jealous at all.

 He shook his head to clear it of the thoughts, unable to remember where he started or to forget where he ended up.

 Oblivious and lucky Riku had finished his cup of tea a while ago, as it would seem, and contemplated on another one when Sora opened his mouth again.

 “Have you talked to King Mickey?” he asked, genuinely curious. He knew that Riku and the King had shared memories of things that Sora hadn’t even heard of and that they were almost as close as Riku and himself. It was a completely new thing that Riku had a friend that was just his, but it was also an immeasurably good thing. Friends were just the thing he needed, Sora thought.

 “He sent a letter last week,” Riku murmured, seeming happy as he looked past Sora, “Was sorry he hasn’t been able to visit, what with being the King…” He trailed off, “Despite everything that went down, I’m happy I met him. I wouldn’t say it quite makes it all worthwhile, but still…” He attempted a half-minded grin to go with his words, not quite making it.

 Sora could tell, then and there as he had so many times before, that Riku was a mere shadow of the once-proud boy he had known. Riku was filled with regrets of past mistakes and regrets of past things that weren’t even his mistakes to begin with. Sora had learned a fair deal of forgetting and continuing while out there in the world, but all Riku’s life had done for him seemed to be the very opposite. “You’ve been through a lot,” Sora reminded.

“So have you,” was Riku’s immediate response, punctuated by a heavy huff. The accusation was clear even though it wasn’t vocalised; _You’ve been through a lot too, yet you didn’t lose your mind._ Riku couldn’t say it aloud, so Sora pretended he didn’t know.

“The Keyblade chooses its wielder, remember?” Sora tried again to comfort him. It was neither a small thing nor an unimportant one after all; the Keyblade had chosen him.

 “Yeah, it chose me and then it chose _you_ when I gave myself to the darkness. Remember?” Riku’s pitch was gradually rising as he spoke, returning to a poisonous hiss at the last word, mocking Sora. As if Riku could ever forget. He probably blamed this on himself as well, feeling like he wasn’t a good person enough to fight on the light side.

Sora winced, both on the inside and outside, knowing he had said one of the many things he shouldn’t have. It was as if he was constantly walking on very, very thin ice, only to suddenly realise there was no ice at all and he was taking a leap of faith into the ice cold ocean. Riku was truly a breath-taking disaster, and Sora couldn’t help but admire this even when the other was viciously lashing out like this.

 Riku chose this moment to make more tea and Sora wondered if it worked as well as he hoped, or if the placebo effect was stronger than that of the tea itself.

 Sora bit his lip; he was fairly certain that it wouldn’t help if he mentioned that the Keyblade had re-chosen Riku after he returned to the light side. Riku would probably find something wrong with that logic as well.

When he glanced at Riku, the silver-haired male seemed to be contemplating whether or not to tell Sora to leave his house, his eyes staying fixated on one spot on the table while he did.

 “I thought the Encoder—“ Sora started as the kettle announced in its own merry way that Riku could have more of his beloved tea.

 “Fixed things for me?” Riku interrupted, not interested in whatever Sora wanted to say, eager to voice his assumptions instead. He wasn’t wrong about this, though. “When it erased the darkness?” He motioned at himself as he continued, “Do you think this is damage that you throw in a volcano and it gets fixed by some magic?” Sora remembered the explosion, of course, but he had actually been under the illusion that _by some magic_ , things had indeed been fixed.

 Even though Riku was upset and angry, vicious and unpredictable, Sora found that he preferred this over the uncaring pleasantries he usually planted around himself. At least Riku was _dealing_ with things instead of locking them in his cold heart and throwing the key into the ocean.

 Riku poured the tea for himself, getting some on his frail fingers and hissing curses as he pulled them away and waved them in the air as a feeble attempt to cool them off.

 “Be careful,” Sora chastised, casting Cure to help his friend. Riku gave him a glare; Riku couldn’t use magic other than dark even when his life depended on it. Nowadays, Sora supposed he couldn’t use even that. It was a good thing though; it had been eating his heart so it wasn’t like Sora wanted his friend trying that, no matter the occasion.

 Riku did have the decency to murmur a quiet thank you, flexing his fingers and looking at them as he did. Then he scurried over to his seat, set his tea on the table and sat down, looking at Sora.

“I think the Heartless might be regrouping,” Riku admitted suddenly, examining Sora to see his reaction, “I sense them sometimes, at night…”

 Sora straightened his posture, worried. “Are you sure you aren’t just imagining it?”

Riku laughed, a jittery laugh with only a hint of happiness. “Sora, I can sense everything in the darkness. Every single little thing. Yes, I am sure.”

 A frown darkened Sora’s face, but he didn’t mention what he was thinking of. “You’ll keep an eye on them, right? Come find me if anything happens, okay?”

 “Chances are you’ll already be here.” And this time the smile was real; so full of warmth and affection it had Sora staring with his mouth slightly open.

 “I’m always here nowadays, aren’t I?” Sora agreed sheepishly, scratching the back of his head. “And I will be a lot more, now that I know when I can catch you awake..!”

 Riku’s smile faltered a bit, and Sora wondered if he was an unwelcome guest in the household. Instead of asking, he announced that he was staying the night.

 “The whole night?” Riku repeated, “I’m not going to be able to sleep, Sora.” Suddenly he went back to downing his tea, as if he had forgotten to do so earlier.

“Yeah yeah, I got that. It won’t be there first time we’re staying up all night together!”

 “I suppose.” He didn’t sound too certain, but maybe him supposing was what had to suffice, for now.

 They spent the rest of the night laughing and playing video games and just being together, like they used to – a lifetime ago. Once or twice Riku really did start talking about the books he had been reading, amusing Sora to no end.

Whenever Sora eventually started to get dozy, Riku became very concerned and asked him if he should go to sleep. Sora denied, of course, in favour of spending as much time together as possible. He knew he should sleep, but he didn’t want to.

 Riku watched the rising sun from the curtainless window in the kitchen, drinking a cup of tea and it had been too long since Sora stopped keeping count of them. Sora followed his gaze as the first rays of sunlight lit up the horizon.

 “I think I have to go to sleep,” Riku murmured, distracted. “I’m really tired.” And he looked like it, too; reddened eyes hardly stayed open, even though it was apparently common for him to stay up all night. His face was even paler than normally, and Sora was surprised hadn’t even realised any of this before Riku brought it up.

 “You do look pretty bad.”

 “Gee, thanks, Sora.” Riku rolled his eyes. “Is it fine by you if I…?”

 Sora smiled, happy Riku would ask. “Of course. I’ll be back in the evening…?”

 “Sure. Just… don’t turn into a nocturnal creature too, okay?”

 It was Sora’s turn to roll his eyes. “Of course not.” He wasn’t sure if it was the truth, however. He enjoyed talking to his best friend properly again, and who’d be hurt if he wanted to do this again at the cost of not being able to sleep at night?

 As Sora left the house, Riku was left staring after him, watching him from the shadows of his house before vanishing into the darkness of his room.

 They lapsed into a comfortable companionship after a while, which was the exact thing Sora had hoped for. Riku still drank dozens of cups of tea every night and he still went to sleep with the sunrise, but Sora had gotten his best friend back and that was what really truly mattered.

Sora’s other friends had noticed, of course, that Sora was much happier. He was, but with happiness came a new realisation, one he hadn’t been expecting to make.

 It begun when he watched Riku’s bloodshot eyes as he finished his tea before heading to bed. It was the strangest of realisations, but Sora suddenly thought about all the things Riku had done for him. The way he allowed himself to be locked behind the Door of Darkness, not quite sure if he would ever make it out, probably even believing that the endless rows of Heartless would be the end of him. The way he had taken a blow that would’ve been fatal for Sora, despite the fact that he could’ve died as well. Riku had made mistakes, he had caused pain and suffering, but Riku always tried to do the good thing, he always sacrificed himself. Arrogant, king of the world Riku sacrificed himself for Sora, without any hesitation.

 And Sora loved him. He loved Riku for what he was; a brave, proud and passionate young man with demons he couldn’t let go off. It was a realisation because while he had always known this, he had never quite felt the need to put it into actual words.

 It continued a couple of weeks later, when Sora went to wake Riku up at eight in the evening. Riku slept with a sheet rather than an actual comforter, because he didn’t quite like the humid hotness of Destiny Islands. He got it from his paler-than-life parents, Sora supposed. He could remember Riku speaking fondly of Christmas Town; Sora knew that Riku had loved the snow and the cold. He had finally felt at home, even if it was only for a short while.

 That night found Riku rolled into a cocoon within that comforter, and Sora couldn’t quite contain a snort of laughter.

 Riku stirred at the sound, a head of misplaced hair rising ever so slightly before he changed his mind, knowing who was the only person in all of the worlds who would attempt wake him up at a time like that. Riku was quite a character when he was asleep, something that never failed to amuse Sora.

 “Sora,” he groaned, “I’m _sleeping_.”

 “You _were_ , that’s why I came to wake you up.”

 “Ugh.” That seemed to be the only word Riku had in mind, for he didn’t continue. Instead, he huddled about for a few minutes before sitting up, shaking the comforter from his shoulders and looking at Sora, expectant and annoyed, though the latter was laced with that strange, unconditional affection of his.

 Sora found himself once admiring Riku, not only for the concealed kindness he held for people, but also for the way the faint light of the room softly wrapped around him, how his emotions lit his eyes with a hopeful glint, how his strong arms flexed as he yawned, still jittery from his sleeping state. How his bare back—

 “Do you want to go outside?” 

And like he had with Kairi what seemed like an eternity ago, Sora dragged Riku to swim in the ocean with him. Riku seemed questioning, suspicious even, and Sora asked him what he was thinking about.

 “I haven’t gone swimming since we got back,” Riku confessed, eyes in the moonlit water.

 “Are you afraid?” Sora asked to make sure. Dragging his friends to do things with him was one thing, dragging them to do things they were terrified of was something completely different and not something he wished to do for whatever reason.

 “Of course not.” And he said it with such proud sneer that Sora wouldn’t even think he wasn’t telling the truth. As if to punctuate his words, Riku kicked off his shoes and took his shirt off, pale skin glowing in the moonlight, muscles rippling. Sora found himself unable to look away as Riku waded into the water until it was about waist deep and dove. He was under the surface for a long time, and resurfaced with a grin Sora could probably feel radiating in the air even if he was blind.

 Sora waddled into the water slightly more cautiously, splashing Riku with water and unintentionally starting a full-blown war.

 There, somewhere between the battle in the water and them returning to Riku’s home, Riku coming up with a change of clothes for both of them and happily mocking Sora for his shortness, for it was one of the few things Riku probably thought he had better, Sora came to the realisation that on top of loving Riku like family, he liked Riku in other ways as well. Ways that he hadn’t spared much thought probably ever in his short little life. This second realisation had his cheeks warming in the cool night air and made him want to bury himself in his arms; he was in love with his best friend.

 He didn’t know what to do with the realisation; Riku didn’t deserve any more worries in his life, and Sora most definitely didn’t want to risk being a burden to him with his feelings. All the worst, he could do unfixable damage to the relationship they had only started to rekindle; a relationship that was even more fragile than Riku himself.

Riku hummed quietly as he made tea, for the first time in forever. Sora could suddenly remember him humming more often when they were children; before Riku decided that he was too cool to be Sora’s friend and insisted on being his rival instead. Before Riku’s lust for power all but consumed him.

“What’s gotten into you?” Sora joked, but his grin was more than enough to let Riku know just how delighted he was.

“Hm?” Riku asked, turning around and seeming to realise what he had been doing. “Nothing at all, to be quite frank.”

“You seem happy.”

“I don’t know if this is news to you,” Riku started, sorting through his tea bags as he did, “But I am indeed capable of being content, when the situation seems to ask for that.” The needlessly long patterns in his speech had always comforted Sora; they were a speciality of Riku’s that he was proud of, even though he never admitted this.

“You do a good job convincing people otherwise.”

Riku rolled his eyes yet again before setting them on his friend. “Were we not in my mother’s beloved kitchen, I would spar you.”

“You love this kitchen more than anyone,” Sora accused.

“Maybe I do, yet you seem to be coming here _every single day_ , despite having a house of your own, and spending hours upon hours sitting there and watching me drink tea. If it were someone else, I’d say it’s growing on you.” He finally picked a bag of tea suitable for the night – it was another green tea that would probably be too bitter for Sora to continue living after consuming it – and then continued, “Since you’re adventurous and ADHD Sora, yet peacefully confined within these four walls, I’d go as far as to say you’re absolutely _smitten_.”

And that he was, probably more so than Riku understood. Not with the kitchen, though.

Riku raised the cup to his lips, grinning a wide Cheshire cat grin as he did. They would have probably gotten along just fine, the cat and Riku. Sora found himself hoping they could meet each other some day; to drink a cup of tea each and annoy the hell out of one another.

 “I can talk to you about anything, right?” Sora found the words toppling out of his mouth without meaning to say anything.

This was a very effective grin-wiper, it would seem.

“Of course. What’s wrong?”

“And you’ll tell me the truth?" 

Sora knew he shouldn’t ask, not when he and Riku were finally getting along. But he needed to, for that exact reason. He needed to know before things could actually be fine between the two of them.

“Yes..?”

“What’s… what’s going on between you and Kairi?”

“Are you jealous?” Riku joked, though there was no humour in his tone.

Sora scowled, “I’m not kidding, Riku. Kairi told me that it was _your story to tell_ , so I’m asking you. What’s wrong?

Riku frowned, sinking in his seat. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“But I—“

“I don’t want to talk about it, Sora.”

“I want to—“

“I think you should leave.” It was probably the first time Riku had told him to go, with such a calm tone, laced with a strong undercurrent of emotions Sora couldn’t identify. It was probably the first time Riku had told him to go and sounded like he actually meant it.

“Fine.” Sora stood up and turned on his heels, “Come find me when you change your mind.”

He could hear Riku’s deep sigh behind his back, but the silver-haired teenager didn’t follow him.

It took a week of Sora being upset with Riku. A week of Sora blaming Riku for not telling him, not trusting his best friend even though it was obviously important and straining both Riku and Kairi. A week of Sora moping around, gaining worried looks from friends and family alike.

“What did he do now?” Kairi asked him as they walked together to play island.

Sora pouted, “He wouldn’t tell me what’s wrong between you two. And… then he told me to leave. Just like that.”

Kairi patted his shoulder, nodding. “It’s probably difficult for him, Sora. Believe me when I say this.”

“But I’m his best friend…!" 

“And Riku _adores_ you, Sora,” Kairi said simply, “That’s the very reason he won’t tell you; he worries you think less of him. I’ve just been wondering… what do you think about him?”

Sora groaned, though he did so only on the inside because Kairi would probably count doing so aloud as an answer of some sort. “He’s my best friend, Kairi. Like you.”

“So not like me,” Kairi accused, “You talk about him 24/7.”

“He’s been through a lot…"

“And that’s hardly an answer.”

“I… I would do anything for him…” he murmured, not looking at her, ”I love him like my own brother, Kairi.”

“Only like a brother?”

Sora didn’t respond and he didn’t need to. Kairi gave him an encouraging smile and informed him that it was truly rather obvious.

“Do you… how do you think he feels?” Sora could feel his ears heating up and kicked the sand unhappily. He didn’t wish to be such an open book, seriously.

“You know him better than I do…” Kairi looked at the sky while Sora stared at the sand, “But he really, really cares about you. More than anyone else, I suppose.”

Sora smiled, thankful he could talk to her about these things; he usually confided in Riku but it wasn’t an option now.

It took another week of Sora waiting for Riku to show up to his doorstep. He had, after all, told Riku that when he wanted to tell Sora, he should come to his place. Sora was no longer upset with him, but he still wanted to know.

Halfway through the third week, someone was pounding their front door at ten in the evening. There was only one person it could be, really. Just like Riku had _known_ Sora when the latter had come to wake him up, Sora knew Riku as well.

“Decided to—“

“The Heartless,” Riku hissed, eyes dark and voice panicky. “They are here.” He tugged at Sora’s sleeve, obviously shaken by the knowledge. His eyes were filled with worry that seemed to near panic.

“Where?” Sora asked, all the while tugging his shoes to his feet and then summoning Oblivion. It was his favourite Keyblade by far; he got it after meeting Riku again in The World That Never Was.

“By the shore,” Riku replied, dashing in that general direction, Sora following him. 

They were normal Shadows, like the ones Sora had fought off the Islands last time. Sora saw from the corner of his eye Riku summoning his Keyblade. It wasn’t the Way to the Dawn, however. It was surrounded by dark aura, and Sora couldn’t help but ask him about it even as he slashed through the Heartless.

“What are you doing?”

“Fighting—“ Riku cut himself off to kill a Soldier without any distractions, “the Heartless, what the fuck does it look like?” They weren’t quite fighting side by side, but they were on the same side to say the least. Sora couldn’t help thinking that this was how things should have always been.

“Looks like—“ Sora didn’t know how to finish that sentence so he didn’t, opting to kill the Shadows surrounding him instead.

“I just summoned a Keyblade and got Souleater,” Riku explained, but Sora didn’t really believe him. That wasn’t how it worked; Sora always got the Keyblade he had in mind.

Slash, hit, slash. A swish; Riku had dodged. Slash.

“Why do you even still have that?” Slash, hop, slash. “I thought it changed to Way to the Dawn?”

Slash, groan, slash.

“I used this for _years_ , Sora. Would it be so weird if I said it grew on me? I kind of… prefer it.”

Angry slash, slash, a slightly calmer, yet determined slash.

“But it’s a Keyblade of _Darkness_ , Riku!”

Slash, slash, slash.

“Now isn’t that fitting?”

Sora turned around to yell at him, to tell him that it was _not_ fitting and Riku was _not_ a creature of darkness and he should _not_ prefer Souleater over Way to the Dawn. It was not a smart move however, as a Shadow knocked the wind out of him immediately after he turned his back to it.

As he struggled to his feet, hacking for breath since the battle had lasted a considerable amount of time as it was, he saw Riku cast a spell with his free hand, shooting a flurry of flames that surrounded Sora and killed the Heartless around him. Riku was out of breath as well, but there were only a few Shadows left, luckily.

“Focus, Sora.”

“You have to be more careful.”

Slash. It was the last Heartless, and Riku killed it swiftly with his Keyblade of choice (which still wouldn’t have been Sora’s choice and Sora wasn’t Riku and Riku only ever did what he had to).

“What was that?” Sora asked, dismissing his Keyblade and walking back to Riku.

The other Keyblade wielder stared at Souleater for a while, apparently dodging the need to answer. If Sora dared, he would ask how many souls the Keyblade had eaten. He didn’t, only because he knew he wouldn’t like the answer; Riku had so much blood tainting his hands.

“What was what?” he then asked, waving the Keyblade out of his hands and stuffing them deep into his pockets, shrinking into himself as if that could keep him out of Sora’s questioning gaze.

“Don’t treat me like I’m stupid when you know I’m not, Riku. What was that spell?”

“Firaga.”

“You can’t use magic.”

“I had to do something.” And Riku looked so sincerely sorry that Sora almost let it slide.

Not quite, though.

“You can’t use Firaga, you can’t use any spells for that matter.” Sora felt the need to spell it out, not because Riku didn’t know. He needed to say it so that Riku knew how Sora had devoted himself to getting to know him again, after all that had happened.

“…well, it was Dark Firaga,” Riku admitted slowly, wincing at the blow he probably saw coming his way.

“ _Dark_ magic,” Sora hissed, upset beyond belief, “You used dark magic. I thought the Enc—“

“The Encoder?” Riku hissed back, “You can’t possibly believe that, Sora. Yeah, the Encoder fixed things. It fixed me. For a month or two, everything was just _fine_.” Riku was upset and Sora was getting the confession he had been waiting for days and weeks and months and suddenly he wasn’t quite sure why he had been so eager to hear it. It would burn him with the passion of death for an even longer time, he was sure.

“Riku…” he pleaded, not even sure what he wanted the other to do, to say.

“This is what you wanted to hear so I hope you’re _fucking_ _ecstatic_ ,” Riku acknowledged with a seething fire.

“Everything was fine but then… the sun started burning me.” He looked away and started walking, not even looking at Sora to see whether he’d follow or not. “I’d get burns after an hour, severe burns. And then it started burning my _eyes_.” And Sora could tell it was a big deal to Riku, who had hid his eyes behind a blindfold to survive in the darkness. “And I could sense the darkness and I still can and Sora, things aren’t _fixed_ and they most definitely aren’t _fine_.”

Riku was shaking with his words, like saying them aloud made the monsters more real than they had been before, and Sora . “And Kairi… you know how the Princesses of Heart can sense darkness in people?”

“No…” Sora pleaded, not answering the question but mentally willing for Riku to stop talking, to not say what he was so clearly going to say.

“She could sense the darkness in me,” Riku all but whispered, looking at Sora, his eyes agonised. “She said she didn’t… didn’t feel too well around me. She was on her guard even if she didn’t want to be.”

Sora shivered with the knowledge, the mental image of his two best friends drifting away from one another, torn apart by the vast darkness. He wanted nothing more but for the two of them to be happy.

He didn’t usually go for much physical closeness with Riku, because the other boy seemed to almost shy away from any and all touch. This time though, Sora was certain this was what Riku needed, so he hugged the boy and pulled him down before his feet gave up on life for good.

Sora sat down in the sand and let Riku curl around him like a cat seeking for a bit of warmth. Sora knew for sure that the other would later hate himself for showing weakness like this, but for now Sora just wanted to keep him safe. For unlike a cat, Riku could actually break the pieces if he didn’t have anyone holding him together.

And Riku, who was usually so strong and proud, allowed himself to be gathered into Sora’s lap as he collapsed underneath the weight of the world he had gathered on himself. He shivered but the broken sobs, the sobs Sora expected to hear, never left his death-pale lips. It was almost more disturbing, the silence in comparison to the howling rage he had been waiting for, albeit with dread.

“It’s just so wrong,” Riku finally murmured after countless minutes, breath hitching at the last word, “I didn’t want any of this.” Sora agreed with him; Riku definitely hadn’t deserved all the things that had happened to him. The worst part that it had followed him even after it was supposed to be over. Riku had wanted to get off the Islands; instead he had gotten thrown back with scars to last him a lifetime.

“Things will get better,” Sora murmured despite himself, “I promise.”

“You can’t promise something like that,” Riku disagreed. He was stubborn enough that he wouldn’t take the world offered to him on a silver platter if he had decided against it.

“Oh yeah? Watch me do it.” Sora replied, smiling faintly as he let his fingers dive into Riku’s messy, yet graceful hair. He felt the sudden need to press a kiss to Riku’s worried lips, but couldn’t bring himself to do it, since he feared scaring Riku away. “Did the spell do any bad damage?”

“Nothing I couldn’t handle.” Riku’s tone was so dismissing, so certain. But since Sora had just watched him collapse into bits and pieces, he couldn’t quite trust Riku to keep going like he had so many times before.

“I don’t want any of your stupid self-sacrificing anymore, Riku.”

Riku’s eyes narrowed as he tried to understand whether this meant that Sora didn’t appreciate his efforts or not.  “You dragged me out of the darkness; I hardly care whether you want me to return the favour or not.”

Sora sighed, not quite sure what Riku was talking about. If he meant the door, then Riku had done that all by himself. And if he meant when Sora had talked him to join the light side once more… well, it wasn’t really out of the goodness in his heart he had done that. Maybe he had always loved Riku in more ways than one.

“I want you to be safe,” Sora sighed, “I just… I couldn’t handle losing you again, okay? You need to be… safe. Here with me.” His arm tightened its hold on Riku awkwardly, as if trying to make sure he was alive and breathing and really there and it wasn’t just a dream.

Riku gave him one of the most peculiar expressions, one Sora couldn’t decode despite all the years of practice he had had. Like love tangled in hatred, his aquamarine eyes were stormy and it reminded Sora of the Storm and oh god he hadn’t taken Riku’s hand…

“I’m here,” Riku muttered, looking away as he suddenly seemed to realise that this was _human contact_ and _he didn’t like that_. Sora didn’t let go of him, however. It was all right to be selfish, sometimes. And he wanted Riku to stay so bad. “Sora. I’m not going anywhere.”

 “You got that right,” Sora agreed. “I’m not letting you carry all this by yourself, not anymore. We’ll… we’ll figure everything out, alright?”

Like a small child without another option, Riku gave a sullen nod as his agreement.

“I want to talk to you. Like, really talk to you… about life.” It was an awful conversation starter and he knew it too, but he had to say something to try and find out where their relationship was, currently.

It was another evening (early night) at Riku’s house. Sora was sitting at the table, opposite to Riku, like so many times before. Now that he knew everything, it all felt _so different_. Why hadn’t he realised before why Riku’s eyes were bloodshot the moment the sun started to rise, how Riku was in complete darkness at all times, how he _used to_ like the sun but didn’t anymore?

Riku chuckled, “Shoot me.” Sora was rather certain that he was worried regardless of the carelessness he displayed on the outside, because Riku had a certain skill for being overly worried without a valid reason to be. Riku was doing slightly better than before, though. After the night he had a total breakdown, he had started to seem a bit happier, unless it was just Sora being hopeful. Maybe Riku felt the weight lifted off his shoulders now that he could talk to Sora about anything.

“Do you… like anyone?” Sora could feel his ears heating up, so he was quick to make amendments. “I mean, I don’t mean to pry, but… I’ve never seen you with anyone and I’d… I’d really like to see you… happy.”

Riku cocked his eyebrow, looking at Sora in a questioning way. “I’m perfectly content as it is, Sora… though I do appreciate the thought.” Sora could, however, recognise the fact that Riku had ignored his initial question.

“Ri-ku,” Sora complained, setting his upper body on the dinner table in exaggerated annoyance, “I’d hardly call what you have ‘happiness’…”

“Well I do,” Riku retorted, “And quite frankly, I don’t need or want you worrying about me. Just take care of yourself, will you? And Kairi.” The latter came out like an add-on, with a short pause before the last two words.

Sora sighed; Riku was far too broody, selfless and downright _stupid_ to try and aim for his own happiness. And he always pulled the Kairi-card from his sleeve at the worst possible moments. You just don’t say something like that as you’re being locked away in the darkness.

Sora liked Kairi, yes. Cared for her, yes, but all this paled in comparison to how he felt about Riku. To be completely serious, Riku didn’t probably even understand how much he meant to Sora. Maybe that’s why he had a Kairi-card to begin with.

“Riku, you deserve to be happy.”

“Right, almost as much a _Ansem_ did.”

Sora could almost swear he could see a flash of ruthless amber in Riku’s eyes, but in reality he was aware of the facts; he was nothing but paranoid. He had too many nightmares to keep himself from mistaking real life as one.

“You made mistakes, Riku. People make mistakes, but the thing is that they don’t completely erase your worth as a person, like you seem to believe.”

Riku scoffed, holding onto Monday like it was the last and only thing keeping him sane. “I made awful mistakes. I almost got both yourself and Kairi killed, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“And you saved my life, in case you’ve forgotten.”

“Hardly makes up for anything.” _It does, actually. Or at least it should._

“Let’s go outside.” Suddenly, Sora was more determined than perhaps ever before in his life; he wanted Riku to change his mind about himself.

Riku took a rain check out of the window and after seeing that yes, the sun had indeed set hours ago, he nodded.

After endless wandering in the dark, humid island, Sora’s feet lead them to the Paopu island. Having fetched a Paopu fruit from the tree (his personal Monday, it was something to calm his nerves), he settled himself on the small wooden platform, patting a spot next to himself for Riku to sit down. Riku seemed to contemplate the offer for a long moment before sitting down and taking off his shoes, dipping his feet into the water. He gave the Paopu a questioning look, as if it was capable of answering any and all questions he had.

After a while of careful thought, Sora offered him the Paopu fruit. “If you really don’t want it, you don’t have to take it… but if you want to, you really should.”

Riku looked at him with pained eyes, eyes that spoke of things his mouth couldn’t. “Don’t make me do this, Sora… please. You should share it with Kairi. You two—“

“You offered me one before and I didn’t take it. This is me making up for it. Besides, Kairi doesn’t need me like you do.” As soon as the words were out of his mouth, he knew; it was the truth.

“Why are you doing this?” Riku’s voice was now as pained as his eyes, growing raspy and desperate. Sora wasn’t accepting any of his silent pleas, however.

“I’m trying to make you see that you deserve happiness.”

“This isn’t the right way to go about it.”

“Yes it is; I’m trying to make both of us happy. What’s so bad about that?”

“Your pity doesn’t make me any more happier than I have formerly been.”

“I don’t pity you, idiot.”

Riku scoffed, taking the fruit from Sora’s hands. “You are going to regret this,” he warned with a tone Sora didn’t like at all.

“Why would I?”

“Because I’m fucking messed up in the head and I will probably always be that way, Sora. I don’t have a future.” Broody Riku was back, his eyes darkening and his head falling to his collarbones under its own weight.

“You do,” Sora insisted, tapping the yellow fruit with his finger as he spoke, “Right here. If you don’t want it to include me, all you have to do is say it.”

“Of course I—“ Riku scoffed, shaking his head, unbelieving. “But… I think you should at least know what you’re signing up for; I…” His voice caught in his throat and he started coughing.

“I don’t care, Riku. You are my best friend and I’d rather not lose you to the darkness ever again.”

Sora could sense Riku’s burning remark of _I am the darkness, Sora_ in the air, but Riku said nothing, staring at the fruit instead.

“Besides—“

“Best friend, Sora? Do you think I did any of the things I did because I thought of you as my _best friend_?” Riku’s tone was doubtful, disbelieving even.

Sora didn’t have the time to respond, before Riku tugged his feet up from the water and pulled his knees to his chest. “I love you,” he breathed out quiet, not looking at Sora and apparently not feeling the need to elaborate his feelings any further. “That’s why. I wanted…” he trailed off, apparently not quite sure what he wanted. Or maybe he didn’t believe it justified his actions. Either way, he kept gazing into the endless sea, his head propped on his knees and the Paopu fruit resting in his hand, which held onto it like it was his sole lifeline.

“Riku, I—“

“I said I don’t want your pity. But I guess you deserve to know…” his eyes were unreadable when Sora tried to reach their gaze. “Please, don’t… don’t hate me, Sora. I won’t mention this again.”

Sora scoffed, annoyed because he wasn’t allowed to get his point across properly. But none of that was quite as important at that very moment as the feeling of _hope_ soaring in his chest, almost bringing a giddy fit of laughter to his lips. He held it down, however; he wouldn’t dare risk Riku believing that Sora was laughing at him. Knowing Riku and his timely insecurities, it wouldn’t end well, most likely.

So instead, Sora scooted closer. He scooted closer until their thighs were touching for the most part, until he could casually leech off some of Riku’s warmth. He moved closer until he could softly turn Riku’s head to face him and see every detail of his face in the moonlight, until he could see his worried eyes that shone with the faintest flicker of hope.

“I…” Sora started, chuckling sheepishly as he trailed off, “I didn’t realise this until a while ago, but I guess it’s the end result that matters.” And he pressed his lips to Riku’s in a soft display of emotion that was both soft and desperate, looking for the kind of acceptance that he had never thought he could even hope for.

He was rather certain it wasn’t Riku’s first kiss, but it was a first _everything_ for Sora. The first time he felt such intense emotion, the first time he invaded Riku’s personal space in such an intimate way, looking for affection he couldn’t gain across the distance. And what he got was Riku freezing in place, wide-eyed and utterly surprised for the longest moment, after which Sora could feel a light, fluttery smile against his lips. Riku brought his hand to the back of Sora’s neck, carefully deepening the kiss and giving Sora the kind of reassurance he had wanted.

When the kiss ended, they kept a distance from across which Sora could feel Riku’s shuddering breath and hammering heart. Riku watched him with insecurity Sora had never even known he had, but suddenly it was as obvious as the sun being bright; Riku had done everything for him, Riku probably loved him more than his own life, whether Sora wanted that or not.

“I…” the older Keyblade wielder murmured, bewildered and surprised, smiling that soft smile he had taken up during the kiss, and Sora’s mind was rapidly trying to wrap itself around the fact that he had actually _kissed Riku he had kissed Riku who had been his best friend forever_ and at least so far, he had absolutely no regrets.

“Would you… like to share that Paopu fruit now?” Sora suggested quietly, “I’m telling you, Riku… I don’t want us to get separated ever again, and I… I would like it if we could, you know…”

Suddenly, something seemed to snap into place in Riku’s head, and his happy smile melted into a casual lopsided smirk, one that made Sora even happier, if possible. “I must confess… I’m not sure I quite know what you mean, Sora.”

Yes he did, but Sora couldn’t really be annoyed with him right at the given moment. Instead, he gave a breathy laughter just before Riku dove to kiss him again.

Sora could feel his darkness, like Kairi. He could feel it as something non-tangible, something he couldn’t quite capture in his mind, something that seemed to avoid him into the far-off corners of Riku’s mind. And Sora understood, honestly, in that moment, that Riku might never be able to follow him into the sunlight. He knew that Riku was every bit as tainted and damaged as he thought he was. But the darkness Riku carried, it was a part of him. Just like Sora’s light was a part of him.

Sora also knew, however, that he could and would be the best thing for Riku. Whatever progress there was for him to make, whatever could still be fixed, Sora would be there to support him. And he knew that likewise, Riku would be there for him. They would make each other happy like no one else could.

“Yeah,” Riku suddenly replied, giving Sora a soul-searching look that seemed just as longing as it was uncertain. At first Sora couldn’t quite remember what the response was for but when he did, he didn’t even try to fight the grin that lit up his face.

**Author's Note:**

> I really hope you liked this!  
> One more time, I'd really appreciate to see some signs of life if you liked this and even if you didn't!


End file.
